The Sopranos – Closed Captions – #21 – Full Leather Jacket – Sopranoland – As Seen on E! True Hollywood Story
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Episode #21 Transcript
Full Leather Jacket
Captioned by HBO Communications Center,
©1999 Home Box Office,
a division of Time Warner Entertainment Company, L.P.
Images are not thumbnails,
so fuhgeddaboutit!

While you were sleeping we found out Hunter Scangarelo got into Reed College. Sayonara. Can’t you be happy for Hunter? Reed was her first choice. She’d die if she didn’t get in. Why do you always think everything has something to do with me? Because you didn’t get in anywhere. Anthony, nobody is hearing anything for months. Hunter took early acceptance, so she found early. But that meant she could only apply to one college. Your sister, on other hand, gave herself a lot of options, such as bowdoin, holy cross, Georgetown. You know that Georgetown is a total reach for me. They’d be crazy not to want you. If I can get in there that means I can probably get into Berkeley. Over my dead body. There are more Nobel Prize winners in the San Francisco bay area than anywhere on the planet. Nobel Prize for what, packing fudges? Look, you know you can go anywhere you want to go to college. But I’ll tell you where I’m not gonna pay for, and that’s Berkeley. I want to go to Harvard or West Point. You may see them on television, but that’s about it. You want to go to a college like that, you gotta crack the books.



(Metal clanking) stockings, Chris. How many you think you gotta sell to pay the nut on this place? (Chris) how can I express how little I give a fuck? (Male groaning) shh, shh, what’s that? Fucking rent-a-jake. Want me to cave the rest of your head in?! That’s bent enough. Get the crowbar, pop the plate. Sean, without fail, every time we’re on a fucking job. The adrenaline effects everybody differently. Big Pussy Bompensiero, he started out as a cat burglar. One time he left a load so big, cop thought a bear was in the place. Pussy Bompensiero started off chipping safes like this? Until he stepped up for Johnny Soprano during the unrest of ’83. Back then, when you did something you got recognized. Your time comes, you either step up or start looking for a new career. Selling stockings door to door.

(Male on TV) the profile toner is a wonderful, affordable easily used alternative to undergoing facelift surgery. (Female) the profile toner is great for any age and any body type, even for those hereditary… You’ve probably given up on. Carm. Why don’t you take a xanax or something? What is this obsession with Berkeley? What, is she trying to get away from us? Absolutely, that’s her job. Go ahead, laugh. What are you gonna do if she gets into Berkeley and not into Notre Dame or Georgetown? She’s in the national honor society, for chrissake. Don’t be naive, Tony, please. How do you think hunter scangerelo got into reed college ? Her uncle, that’s how. Him and his wife are graduates. That’s the only way that little freak was gonna get into college. Second baby boom. Grades, great sat scores, it’s not enough anymore. It’s all who you know or how many buildings you give. So, what you want me to do, huh ?

(Frank Sinatra) We can face the music together (knocking) he here? Hey. Someone leave a cage open at turtleback zoo? Sit down, for chrissake. I want to talk to you about Beansie Gaeta. He may never walk again. Never say never. No… Say never. He’s a shopping cart, from here on out. He gets home from rehab soon, poor motherfucker. You should help him out. Help him out? You should build him a ramp on his house for the wheelchair. You know, make the place handicap accessible. Maybe while I’m over there I could fuck his wife. C’mon, rich, you’re a fucking captain now. And a salut’, so, exert a little pressure. Call that nephew of yours, Vito, and other one. They’re in the building trades, aren’t they? Are you fucking serious? Richie, it’s a gesture. The man has a lot of friends. You’re out of your fucking minds. Don’t take that attitude. Richie, hey, you’re gonna build Beansie a ramp. I’ll build a ramp up to your ass… Drive a Lionel up in there.



Jeannie, hi! You putting your roses to bed, huh? Carmela, hi. I haven’t seen you at spinning class lately. I went by and rang the bell a couple times, you weren’t home either. Really? The other day, I’m at the Willowbrook Mall and I see you going on the down escalator, and I’m yelling, “Jeannie, Jeannie.” That’s when I realized it was your sister. Didn’t she go to Georgetown? Georgetown law, Georgetown law review, regional secretary of the Georgetown alumni association of short hills. Because my meadow applied to Georgetown. And I am hoping and praying to Jesus that she gets in. She keeps talking about Berkeley. Madonn’, Berkeley. College already, huh? They get big so fast. Oh god, is that the time? Uh, Jeannie. I need to ask you a favor. I was wondering if you would ask your sister to write meadow a letter of recommendation. Is that too forward? Well, but she doesn’t really know meadow. But you do and you could give her meadow’s transcripts, which are excellent, by the way. Her paper on the melting icecap, it made me cry, it was so poignant. It was published in “The Daily Caduceus”. My sister, she’s so busy. Really, if there is any way you could find your way to helping me out here. I’ll ask her. Thank you, Jeannie. I’ll let you get back to your plants.



Good, good, good. That’s it, push up. Now bracing yourself on the bedside hand. Richie. Could you excuse us for a moment, dear? No. Are you alright, Mr. Gaeta? He’s fine. He’s so proud, he won’t accept some friendly concern. Just stay right out in the hall. What do you want? Why don’t you fuckin’ kill me, you cocksucker? For chrissake, look what you did to me. Whose idea was the ramp? What ramp? The fucking ramp. If you need help, I’ll fuckin’ help you. You understand? You talk to me. I don’t want jack shit from you. Okay… I’ll leave. But if you go crying to Tony Soprano one more time… If you open your mouth, I’m gonna send your arms where your legs are.


Liz, let me in, I gotta see Adriana. She’s not here. Let me in, I gotta talk to her. You are not welcome in this house. What the fuck, Adriana, I’m sorry, okay? How many times I gotta call here? Just go away, Christopher! I hate you, I never want to speak to you again! I’m calling the police. Don’t be like that, Adriana. I love you, I’m going crazy, I miss you. I’m dialing 911. Why should I listen to you? So you can dump another glass of wine in your soup and embarrass me in front of a whole restaurant? Give me the phone! Go in the other room! Ow. I want to marry you. What? I mean it, Adriana, I love you. I want to marry you. Got you a ring and everything. Don’t listen to him. He’s been jerking you around for three years. You’re wasting your whole youth. Ma. Open it. Sure, I bet it was in Zane’s window this morning. I bet there’s bits of broken glass in it. Mom, would you leave us alone? I hear you sobbing in your bed at night! Ma! When you get hurt next time, this door is closed to you. Oh, my god. Christopher. It’s three carats. The guy said you can bring it in, have it sized or whatever, if it’s loose. Christopher!


He had “the mummy” before it was in the theaters. Oh… Look who’s here. I was wondering why the squirrels went quiet. This nephew of yours, he a real ball breaker. I’m telling him about the tapes. These are the real Hollywood quality broadcast movies. None of that timecoding bullshit, or blurry pictures those Nigerians sell on the street. You’re in on this. 10,000 units. What’s Johnny sack say about that? Fuck New York. I better run before that wife of yours gets home. Besides, I can’t be seen associating with known felons. What’s your excuse for hanging out with this undesirable? The terms of my house arrest allow me to do my grocery shopping. Don’t put handprints on the finish! Oh. Last of the arugala rabe from the garden. Don’t drench it in oil this time. He likes to mop with his bread, it’s not my fault. What brings you to an English speaking neighborhood? Fucking winghead came to see me. Paulie. He said I got to build a fucking ramp on beansie’s house. Yeah, I know. Wait, this was your idea? Jesus Christ, Tony, is this how you spend your time? Beansie Gaeta would still be selling nickel bags on Jefferson Avenue if it wasn’t for Jackie. Richie, build beansie the ramp. Terrible accident that kid had. Yeah, it’s done. C’mon, come here. I got something for you. What’s this? “What’s this”? It’s the jacket. The jacket. The jacket I took off rocco dimeo. Oh, yeah, yeah. Cocksucker had the toughest reputation in Essex County. But he never came back after I got through with him. He later died of Alzheimer’s. Yeah? Try it on. It’s your fucking jacket. You loved this jacket. You and my kid brother, you would’ve killed for this jacket. Silk lining, fine Corinthian leather. Nobody believed with my size I could carry this jacket. But with the belt it was like rocco. It’s a nice jacket. It’s a beautiful jacket. But it’s yours to have now. Why? I gotta let go of the past. Like the Tao says, “you got to shut one door before another one can open.” (Junior) is that so hard to do? You did it. That’s it, that’s it. Oh! Huh? Perfect. You look like Robert Evans over here. Thanks.




Is that all Tony said? Did he say anything else? What the fuck do you want him to do? Give you a kiss on the lips? He said, “nice wagon, where’s his end?” To kick upstairs to Tony Soprano would be an honor. He the man. I thought you said I was the man. He the man, I the man, who the man? “Are vee not men?” Listen, Tony’s cut from this thing and that one, that comes out of your end, not mine. That’s how it is in the beginning. The dues concept, we’re down with that. I laid out my whole take on the diamond for Ade anyway. Adriana La Cerva, there’s one hotty. She loves me and these are her child-bearing years. I don’t see myself getting married though. I get all the ‘ho cake I need and I can hire somebody to wash my dishes and iron my shirts. (Christopher) yeah, I could see that. (Farting) no more burritos, or you’re not working with me. Look at this fucking place. You imagine spending day after day in here, year after year?

(Doorbell) can I help you? Miss Gaeta? We’re here to put in the ramp. What ramp? For your husband. You’re from rehab outreach at St. Erasmus? We’re also supposed to alter the toilets and widen the doorways and so on, to make the house more wheelchair accessible. Who sent you over here? Richie aprile. Richie Aprile? We should be done by the time beansie’s home from the hospital. Get out of here. I don’t want anything to do with that man after what he did to Peter. She’s got her problems, but I’m not gonna tell Richie this is not getting done.

(Whistling) (Doorbell) Richie. Donny! This is Matthew Bevelaqua and Sean Gismonte. They’re both from West Orange. I’m back to Drinkwater. It’s fucking good to meet you, Richie. My cousin Louis gismonte worked with you in the prison sign shop at east jersey. Oh, yeah, Lou. About 5’8″, about 225. I’m taking them over to my Uncle Joey’s lot to look at IROC’s. They asked if they can come by and say hello first. You’ve been doing some things with Christopher Moltisanti. You know, this and that. The attitude on that camel-nose fuck. He ever lays his hand on my niece again I’m gonna tear him apart piece by piece. Camel nose! You can’t make that shit up. What the fuck are you talking about? I just did. Did you ever notice he’s the only motherfucker who can smoke a cigarette in the rain with his hands tied behind his back? That nose is like a natural canopy. The kid has his good points. I’m not saying anything against him; he’s my homey. Your what? He lives up near me. Why didn’t you say that? If you want to talk like a fucking moulinyan, we’ll send you to slip-and-fall school. Fellas, c’mon, time’s up, let’s go. Richie, it was good meeting you. If there’s ever anything you can do for me let me know.



Hi. Oh, my god, did we have a lunch? I’m rushing out the door to a deposition. I was in the neighborhood. Downtown Newark? I think I goofed, joannie. I don’t know how I got into this conversation. But carmela soprano, from next door, trapped me and asked me if I’d ask you to write her daughter a letter of recommendation to Georgetown. The gangster’s wife? I’m sorry. She just blind-sided me in the backyard. What was I supposed to say? That I’m busy? Which I am. That I don’t even know the girl? C’mon, you met meadow, 4th of July, at our barbecue. That’s not what I mean. You can’t expect me to do this. It’s just a letter. Bruce just wrote one to U.V.M. You do it all the time. Bring gangsters onto the Georgetown campus? I don’t think so. Oh, spare me the elitist bullshit. They’re my neighbors. Have you lost your mind? Carmela asked me, Joan. What, are you frightened? What do you think they’re gonna do, put you in cement boots over a college application? It’s not that, it’s a question of manners. What am I supposed to say? That I’m writing a letter for someone else, which I am. A wonderful young Dominican boy from the projects with a 5.2 average. I have a reputation to protect. I knew you wouldn’t do it. You want to be a doormat for the rest of your life? Just deal with it, Jeannie, okay?



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