While at the Mercedes dealership Carmela finds out that the saleswoman who gave her a ride home that day has committed suicide. Disturbed by this news Tony makes a trip to Globe Motors to confirm this story, and the salesman tells him Gloria mostly likely did it because she was unlucky with men. Tony then gets liquored up and confronts Dr. Melfi. In a rage, he accuses her of being incompetent and then puts the blame on himself. After dreaming about Gloria, we see him start taking the Prozac again.

Due to the guilt he feels, his new tactic is to try to do nice things for everyone. He signs the living trust papers for Carmela, and arranges for cousin Brian to score a new suit from Patsy. He even takes Janice out for a nice dinner, where he congratulates her on Bobby and they finish their meal with an expensive bottle of Nonino Picolit (a grappa with a subtle creamy chocolate quality, according to Wine Spectator).

The brother of the new hostess at Vesuvio needs a $50,000 loan because Armagnac is supposedly the new Vodka, if they can secure the North American distribution rights. Artie asks Ralphie for the money, figuring he can get the cash for his kid’s braces by brokering the transaction. Ralph turns him down flat, but tells Tony about it. Still worried that he’s a “toxic person” as he keeps repeating, Tony almost forces Artie to take the favor.

When Jean-Philippe doesn’t pay up, it’s time for Artie (the worst wannabe tough guy there ever was… remember how he hid in the car during the Columbus Day riot?) to pay him a visit. Turns out the snotty Frenchman now considers it an “investment” instead of a “loan” and has no intention of paying the debt. After taking a beating, Artie slinks back home and washes down a handful of pills with a bottle of Armagnac, the only thing he scored out of the deal. He called Tony and admits he’s a failure, Tony calls 911 and then heads to the hospital. There’s no way he’s gonna be responsible for two suicides. He tells Artie to say he was mugged, and in exchange for Artie wiping out his $6,000 tab he’ll deal with Jean-Philippe. Artie knows he’s screwed, but still calls Tony a hawk, saying he knew things were probably going to go down this way. Maybe he did, but Artie should have known better than to get involved.

AJ is breaking curfew to hang out with his new girlfriend Devin, who seems disappointed that her “gangster dude” doesn’t live in a place with gates and guards, like the Corleone’s, or her father. Seeking a place to have adolescent sex, AJ calls Meadow, who tells them to meet her at her internship. The Sopranos family may have money, but not like Devin, who calls a car service because the bus is “smelly”. Guess what, so are the down-on-their-luck clients at the South Bronx Law Center. Meanwhile, Carmela worries that Furio is lonely, so she sets him up with a gal from the dentist’s office, they seem pretty cozy but Carmela doesn’t seem too thrilled.