Writer: Jason Cahill, Robin Green, Mitchell Burgess
Director: Andy Wolk

Guest Stars:

John Ventimiglia – Artie Bucco
John Heard – Detective Vin Makazian
Katherine Narducci – Charmaine Bucco
Al Sapienza – Mikey Palmice
Tony Darrow – Larry Boy Barese
Joe Badalucco, Jr. – Jimmy Altieri
Robyn Peterson – Bobbi Sanfillipo
Kevin O’Rourke – Coach Don Hauser
Richard Portnow – Attorney Melvoin
Cara Jedell – Ally Vandermeed
Candace Bailey – Deena Hauser
Jacyln Tohn – Heather Dante
Donna Marie Recco – Bebe
Nell Balaban – Receptionist
Moises Belizario – FBI Man
Mary Ellen Cravens – Taylor
Elaine Del Valle – Waitress
Steve “Inky” Ferguson – Moldonado
Brian Guzman – Delivery Boy
Mark Hartman – Capman
Patrick Husted – Waiter
Marissa Jedell – Becky
Joyce Lynn O’Connor – Shelly Hauser
Annika Pergament – TV Reporter
John Nacco – Contractor
Bill Winkler – Soccer Referee

Everybody’s got a secret in this episode.

Tony, Silvio and Artie take their daughters’ soccer very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that when they find out Coach Hauser has accepted a job in Rhode Island they first try bribing and then resort to threatening him to stay in New Jersey. What they don’t know is that teammate Ally is in love with the coach, but he won’t leave his wife, plus he had sex with her more than once. When the girls are hanging out in the woods, Ally slits her wrist as a cry for help, something she’s done before. Meadow finally tells Tony and Carmela because she doesn’t want her dad to convince Coach Hauser to stay.

On top of the threat of the indictments, Tony now has this to deal with. At first Silvio is assigned to take care of this problem, but Tony changes his mind and tells him just to walk away. Tony gets drunk and watches the coach being arrested on the TV news. Later, at home, while Meadow watches from upstairs, he tells Carmela how he didn’t hurt anyone. And as drunk as he is, he seems genuinely happy about this.

Meanwhile, Larry Boy and Jimmy’s mothers are moving into Green Grove, so that they can all have meetings without Junior or the Feds knowing about it. Uncle Junior is in jeopardy with the FBI especially since he already has two strikes against him. Plus, Mikey is telling him that if there’s a leak it must be in Tony’s boat. He even has Tony followed, but they lose him before he gets to Dr. Melfi, so Mikey assumes Tony’s talking to the Feds. This is too much for Junior, he decides to take a trip to Florida with his lady friend, Roberta. They go down to Boca Raton for “research” at the union’s expense. Now that he’s boss, Junior pointedly tells Bobbi to make sure she keeps the details of their relationship to herself. Unfortunately, she’s already blabbed about his prowess at oral sex to her manicurist and word gets back to Carmela. This is something he doesn’t want to get out because the other guys consider it to be a sign of weakness. Over a family dinner, Carmela can’t resist tossing a few barbs at Uncle Junior, and Tony notices. Reluctantly, she tells him what she heard. During a round of golf with Junior, Mikey and Silvio, Tony can’t resist throwing out a few choice words at his uncle. This enrages Junior and he tells Mikey about Tony seeing a shrink and hints about clipping him. He also ends his relationship with Bobbi by lobbing a lemon meringue pie in her face.